Life be lifing: How to maintain mentally when things get hard.

Evolve Coaching blog

#001 May 1, 2024

by Zykina Stewart, CEO Evolve Coaching Solutions

To say that life be lifing is an understatement! Collectively, if you live in the United States, we have shared outrage grief, and fear over many incidents including school shootings, a pandemic which was declared in March 2020, an era of public outcry over police brutality which garnered worldwide protests and seeing the U.S. Capitol stormed January 6, 2021. And these are just a few of the public things we experienced! Individually we have experienced diverse challenges such has inadequate resources, death of loved ones, financial crises, health challenges, relational challenges, loneliness, isolation, and more! What’s the point? While some are more verbal about their challenges than others, we have ALL experienced enough life to bring us to our knees! Below I will give you 5 ways to help you to maintain your mental fortitude after and through these things.

Please PROTECT your PEACE: Listen, your inner peace (at times outer) is critical if you seek mental stability and clarity. This is a personal task that cannot be entrusted to anyone but you! If you are a competent adult, you are the HPIC of your life, which means you get to say NO or yes as you please! You are the only one who knows your convictions, commitments, capacity, and calling. In this area you must be strong and develop the ability to be okay with disappointing others so that you can prioritize your mental health. Protecting your peace also includes you slowing down and disconnecting from the hustle and bustle that surrounds you, so that you can rest your mind and body. It also looks like turning off the television, taking a break from social media, as well as getting adequate sleep. Understand that protecting your peace does not mean you should isolate yourself, rather, protecting your peace is essentially setting proper boundaries.

Cultivate a continued connection to THE SOURCE: Staying connected spiritually is very important in navigating the waves of life. What that looks like can vary from person to person. For me, as a Christian, that means sharpening my biblical understanding so that I can stand on the hope of Jesus who tells me I’m in a winning battle. I do this by reading my bible or devotions so that ill know how to navigate when my peace is disturbed. Additionally, congregating weekly or more with my church, doing life with individuals who share my common beliefs, listening to Christian music, Christian focused YouTube and praying grounds me in my peace.

Simply start a personal STREGENTH-CIRCLE: You need a solid group that keeps you encouraged, not dependent depleted or codependent. This can be an official or unofficial circle. A strength circle is a small group of people that can help to encourage or point you in the proper direction when needed or call you out in love if you are getting off track. Your circle should be a group of levelheaded mature minded individuals. This may not be the same as best friends or family. This is not necessarily a group you speak to daily, or run EVERY thought by. This group can help you to calm the mental monster that often grows in our head when left to our own devices.

Stop it with the SUPERHERO syndrome: Do the best you can, that’s it, that’s all. Unlike Spider-Man, we don’t actually have real life superpowers! Understand what your limitations are and do what you can based on that. You are a human with a certain mental and physical capacity that is different from others! You cannot meet every need or save all, as the song goes they “don’t wanna be saved.” No seriously, even if a person needs something, you may not be the one to meet their needs. Ask yourself, am I assigned to this individual? Do what you can without stepping out of your personal purpose, because you really are a hero to those who come in contact with you based on your purpose, and often operating in your purpose or lane will bring you peace that surpasses understanding.

Have HOPE that help is on the way: Look life be lifing, but it is not all bad. Maintain hope and an optimistic outlook that things will change for the better. Steer clear of those who view life through a constant doom-gloom, negative lens. While it is important to be realistic, don’t jump toward the worst-case scenario. This is where hope comes in, being hopeful increases our mental strength and resiliency. Hope gives us motivation; it makes us feel better and it calms our mind so that we can make better decisions. Hope can be enacted when we look at our past challenges and realize that we overcame them and have survived every bad day or worse-case situation we experienced or imagined. But know that hope is not just minimally surviving, hope is keeping a spark in your inner soul that you know eventually everything will be more than alright. Hope says I WILL THRIVE, I will see goodness, I will make it.